TODAY'S O LEVEL CHINESE ORAL WAS A TOTAL SCREWUP.
im utterly disappointed, with myself and the damn question.why the hell did they ask this kinda effing question mans!): everyone came out with a ): on their face.damn! there goes my a1 or a2.no second chance, face it, brenda. gawd, everyone else who hasnt taken the oral, GOOD LUCK, hope the following questions would at least be managable.not like today.walao walao walao.me dont like this mans. :/people like me, who made a mess outta the orals today, cheerios! work harder for other subjects.we can do it, we must.no more time, we gotta understand that.


what's wrong with me?im supposed to study hard.what am i doing now?still stuck here in the middle of nowhere.please do something about myself before its all too late.yes, its time i let you go so i can be free.great, make sure i mean what i say.yeah, i'll try.but i know its highly impossible.ass.
three more months to O levels, no kidding.really.wake up wake up wake up! kay, i gotta stick to what i always say, love isnt possession.he happy = i happy.main focus now is study hard&study smart.gahhhh!


mood off again today. so sorry to those i vent my anger on.im damn badly affected by that idiot luh.i didnt mean to be mean.sorry wor.):






i really dont believe you never liked me before.if its like what you said, then everyone was right.i was wrong.but you may have your own difficulties which you cannot say, and i choose to believe that you loved me or still love me de.if there wasnt any feeling, why did you hold my hand? why did you hug me? why did you kiss me? why did you touch me? why did you do that kinda thing to me? why was i "the most important person" in your contacts list then? omg, i really wanna know what you thinking.

second post of the day.just came back from family getto.but mood's not getting any better.being out of love is so... oh, fuck.screw it.tomorrow is chinese o level oral.i wanna do well, cos there's no second chance.i hope i'll do okay.all the best to everyone taking oral tomorrow.must do well k! i'll keep you all in my prayers tonight."studies is more important than anything else at this point of time.dont think about some useless guy who doesnt appreciate you."

i nv meant to hurt you,is there any thing i can do to make it up for you
i do anything for you cox i am really sorry
i believe that everything happens for a reason
i know everybody makes mistakes and everybody regrets sometimes

xiaobei, you wont ever be replaced and i guess you should know.i'll never find out what you're really thinking or feeling, but at least i did try my best.wo zhen de hen ai hen ai ni.
im trying my best not to break down every single time i think of you.if i knew you were gonna be like this, this shouldnt even have started.must keep reminding myself to be strong and keep that smile on my face.isly de.

this is what i get for loving you so so much...

just woke up from pigging, still wearing your cardigan, which i wore to church just now in the morning.was reminded that you dont belong to me anymore, i cant believe you're gone forever.i dunno how life i gonna be like now, after what happened on friday.you dont have to be guilty, or sorry, or whatever.im the one who was a total waste of your time all along.we'll see how it goes tomorrow ba.please be in school okay?i wanna see you, i miss you.the feeling just gets stronger and stronger, you mean everything to me, and its everything.you'll be the first one i think about, the one who decides on my mood everyday.darling, you're the #1 in my heart, not anyone else.I LOVE YOU, hun.& always will.nothing's gonna change this.



gillian, sandra, rachel, wenda, twintwin.dont worry, sweets.im fine.really.maybe i dont look convincing, but trust me, i'll get over this one day.i wont ask anything of him anymore, just like what i promised you guys.I MUST STUDY AND DO WELL.



hectic schedule for the coming weeks.
monday: school ends at 5pm, tuition from 6 till 7.30pm.
tueday: school ends at 5pm, might be meeting outside friends for study.
wednesday: school ends at 5pm, night study from 6 till 8pm.
thursday: school ends at 5pm, tuition from 5.30 till 7.30pm.
friday: school ends at 4pm, night study from 6 till 8pm.

mock exams in 21 days.




study hard, gavin.you can do it.keep your promise to me, i'll keep mine to your mom's.

just came back from outside, going out again at 5 plus for my weekly family getto.i love everyone of them yo.ohkay, i was scrolling my folders and i found this video, which i asked amanda lim (EX-WIFEY), to send to me cos i sorta lost it somehow.stupid me.kao~ the video super hilarious la.all those who have seen it, i know you watched it more than three times.dont ask me why, but i just think so.hurr hurr.those who haven seen it, you should watch.really very funny.and my dearest PEACIE-POOS, i gotta tell you i missed acting man.although i wasnt professional then, i assure you my acting skills have improved a whole lot le lor.i dont peek into the camera or tou xiao alr.so joker la!

NOTE TO ALL VIEWERS: this video is highly reccommended although it is lame, stupid, not professional, and i know we all look super stupid inside,esp the hair.but you gotta understand, this was taken way back then.we didnt know what was fashion okay.im glad we dont look like that now.(: enjoy! (kay i dont know why there appears to be two video thingys, i cant remove one.so too bad.)

~END~

no one can understand how i feel now, the pain and hurt is just so.. indescribable...

yesterday night was a torture, it seriously was.thanks alot, gavin, for doing this to me.i'll remember what you msged me, and i'll remember what we talked about on the phone.im glad you told me the truth, although it hurt alot.you said i could choose to wait for you if i wanted, i will.you made me promise not to ever leave you, and im not breaking my promise.i know im no more than a friend to you now, but you know for sure, that in my heart, you'll always be my baby.

BABY DONT GIVE UP ON ME PLEASE.YOU KNOW I CANT LET YOU GO, I PROMISED YOU THEN.I WONT BREAK 'EM.I DONT WANT YOU TO BE GONE FOREVER.IF I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN, I WOULDNT HAVE WANTED TO START LOVING YOU LUH.WHY DO THIS TO ME?ALL THE THINGS YOU SAID TO ME, HOW MUCH YOU LOVED ME, HOW IMPORTANT I WAS TO YOU, WERE YOU JUST SAYING IT FOR FUN?!):

SEE THE ABOVE? JAM HSIAO IS EFFING CUTEEEE CAN!GAWDDDS, I WAITED SO LONG FOR HIS ALBUM MANS.(:ohkay, me and my daddy are GREAT fans of jammie. hurr hurr XD. haven heard his album yet, so yah.i cant comment much now.rofl.


today was an ohkay day.after school i went home to bathe before going for tuition.lawls, my math improving alot yo!you guys in my class should know uhs.haha.then i met with wenda at bbt, then followed her home for her to take her 45-min long bathe.then came back to bishan for dinner at s-11. wahlaos i swear i was a pig lor.eat one big plate of rice full of ingredients and one extra bowl of wantan. please lah, brenda yap.down there keep saying wanna jian fei, then here keep stuffing food into the mouth.zzz then dion and siva came later on to meet us, bus-ed to st22 for the liquor.wenda and i cam-whored all the way.although piccas screwed, we still had fun.then after half an hour we went back to jay8 that part meet shermaine and slacked at super nova.then wenda, sher and i went to funland to outrun and virtualand to rockfever.then bought drinks for dion and siva.


the walk back to supernova...damn hilarious.:D me and wenda were walking in front of shermaine.then suddenly we heard sher shout " ahhhhhh~" and run to the front.then me and wenda were like hurr???? :O so i asked sher what happened.then she said someone called "chio bu" then she turn back.LOL! damn funny luh.you should have seen mans. hao xiao. so me and wenda keep laughing and laughing.really very funny lor.shermaine is damn joke.went back to supernova, saw lc there.he is damn weird.sit on top of the roof thingy.then me and wenda imitate just now that scene to them.but they didnt seem to get it.):

siva and his sneeze also very funny. hor, shermaineee? i managed to not think about unhappy stuff for that little while, which is a good thing.:D i should keep it up.yyeah, till then.



i waited for you to call/msg me but you didnt.i wanna ask you so many things, i really need to know luh.why did you ask me about me and someone just now? you know it hurt alot? i was happy a few moments ago, but looks like im back to square one.):

current mood: sad/depressed/confused/and a mixture of every other weird feeling.
just had another round of tear-dropping session with shermaine, wenda and annabelle.


TAPTAP: darling i understand how you feel now, i really do.i dont wanna see you like this mans.dont keep your feelings hidden, show them out.this is the time to cry all you want, if need be, hate her.i'll support you.hate her like the same way you used to hate me.please cheer up, still got me wor.dont forget we're on the same boat.anytime you need me, i'll be here.and you make sure you're here for me too!

WENDA: babe i know whats going on these few days, its stressful and this goes to show how annoying and irritating some people can be.dont let them or what they say affect you okay? thanks for your advice, something went in, but its hard you know.i cant make a decision now, im sorry.and one thing, its alright to "dislike" her a little.it happened to me before, you should know.why she's like that, no one knows.goshh, i should be telling that to myself. :/

ANNABELLE: dear twintwin.thanks a million trillion zillion for always being here for me.you're always the one who dries the tap running from my eyes.i really appreciate every little thing you do for me.im trying my best to get things sorted out, thanks sweethearttt.ME LOVE YOU ALOT.and hey, im nice to hug and kiss right? rmb kay, a small hole in your boat can be mended and repaired.dont wait till the boat is sinking before you start saving yourself.

celeste koh and aloysius wong, think of the bright side of things.i always tell myself, at least i had happy memories with my other half.its better than nothing.and remember, LOVE ISNT POSSESSION.if you really love someone, you just have to make sure he or she is happy.( dion&liangcai this is for you also.cheer up!)


my dear friends and people who are always there for me, i just wanna let you know that im really thankful to have met all of you.thanks for always lending me your ears though sometimes you can get quite sore from hearing stupid sob stories from me.i love all of you lots and lots.



after i sent you that so-called last msg, i wanted to give up alr.but this morning when i saw your replies you made me think twice.i need explainations, baby.i wanna know whats going through your mind.please, i need an answer cos it means alot.

today is one of the worst days of my sec. school life. gahhh!
you know what? i started the day really right but some assholes had to come screw my day.my dears, if you have brains to think you should know why im so upset and pissed off.


had pe today, so i wore specs to school, although i look like some froggy or something.imma good girl, so i didnt want ms chng to come after me cos of my coloured contacts.and so i was outta trouble then.after amath i saw something which spoilt my mood for the rest of my day.im not gonna mention it here, cos its kinda private.amath was a bore as usual, i wasnt in the mood for some stupid integration or whatever shiaaaat you call it.social studies was next, but yishih's funny videos made me laugh and cheered me up a lil.thanks so much, yishih dearest!

recess.the worst part of the day.i saw what i saw after my pe lesson again, and i cried mans.oh gawdddd, why is this happening.im so tired of these, i really am.shant say much about that.and that very very sickening WILL-I-AM came to bug me again.wth, always catch me for attire/hair.this time catch me for the contacts.kay so i was called to the side of the canteen and he was like scolding me luh.gosh, the people around us were like staring at me like they have never seen a human being before.so embarrassing cans.in any case, he is a sucker, and by doing this to me, he's only making me hate him more.period.


class tee-shirts are out.damn that woman and man.they frigging promised me with DRYFIT teeshirts, NOT COTTON ONES.thats why the class paid $17 bucks lah! in the end they gimme some lousy cotton material and when i rejected the shirts, the woman said she thought i wanted cotton.what the fishchickenporkchop! she has no responsibility at all luh! me and gillian told her WE WANTED DRYFIT! screw them all. my dear fourpeace, i hope you'll understand my position and dont blame me or gillian when you receive the class tees tml.i know you'll all be upset.me too, im feeling so down and out.so sorry classmates.):


after school i saw what i saw again.darn it, so for the whole of today, everything practically sucked for me.i wish everything would just stop.





you and her, she and you.the more i see this, the more i feel like breaking down.this is the last straw; every mean thing you did to me.im not gonna give myself any more false hopes.im gonna start afresh and studies will be my top priority.its so hard to say byebye, baby, i'll miss you and your everything.

just completed some survey patrick tagged me on.lol its so lame.

school today, and we had hardcore emath lessons luh! three frigging periods man.reggie aint a good teacher, its like he's talking in some alien language and me cant undersatnd a single thing he said.but lucky me got tuition, so i could catch up, and i taught a few of my classmates. *hint hint* my dear students: i make a good teacher right?

hurr hurr. i feel like a meanie, im always complaining about teachers.rahhh! and i just found out, haw say boon didnt leave school, he's just on mc. whoa, thanks ah, leonard goh zhi wei.gimme false info.so for amath today, mrs OL tay took over, and almost 70% of the amath students, including me, were late cos we didnt know we had a relief teacher.and the whole process of going onto the classroom and settling down was damn hilarious.esp when you have a tigress as your relief teacher.:D so she started nagging and scolding and finally got into the lesson, which she went through amazingly fast.i couldnt catch her, so did everyone else.but all diam diam, dont dare say out.see, we're all hypocrites.always bully the "new" teachers.then when some "old bird" comes to teach us we all shut out mouths.joke.after the first period she went off, and derrick lee came to relief.thank goodness its him so i took out my earpiece and when the lesson ended, tan jee yan came into class.walao, i like his teaching, but i dont like it whenever he appears cos he always gives us alot of pressure one lor.and i mean, always; everytime.he kept ranting at how close we are to our o levels, and keep "persuading" us to drop amath if we cant cope...etc. the best part is when mr tan was giving his so-called wake up call to us, stupid mr lee had to make all sorts of retarded and funny faces behind, which i absolutely cannot stand, and i started giggling to myself.MR LEE IS AN ASS. and i dont know why, but i always get very nervous and scared of what he say.kay mans, i believe all fourpeace amath students feel the same way as i do.sad case. =X and mr tan totally spoilt my mood.super stressed.): i need motivation~!

people who are in the same race as me, please buck up! we'll all end the race together, and we're not leaving anyone behind okay! jiayou jiayous!
MOCK EXAM 1 : in 3weeks++ time.
PRELIMS: in 7 weeks++ time.
the rest shall be updated later on.




you didnt go to school today,bloody idiot.but i saw you at bbt after school.was very disappointed with you.why you go take that kinda thing mans?! you told me you wont de lor.so last friday when you sent me all those weird msges, you were high on drugs right? then what about now huh? you're msging me some crap, and im really worried.you make me cry all the time luh.

01. What's your favourite fruit?
- i dont like fruits, i prefer fruit juice.

02. Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket?
- anywhere, but i want TWO tix thankyou.

03. What’s your favourite thing to do?
- singing.:D

04. Do you think money can buy happiness?
- nope.

05. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
- i want him to be happy and have a bright future.

.06. Who do you want to see most?
- AXB.

07. What are you afraid to lose the most?
- AXB.

08. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
- donate half to charity, and spend the rest on myself, darls, clique, girlfs, him.

09. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you?
- PATRICK YEO is funny, easy-going, and a very nice person.

10. What makes you happy?
- seeing him happy, and buying everything i want.

11. What type of person do you hate the most?
- twofaced people.

12. Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?
- a normal human being living on this earth.

13. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
- i wanna be able to read people's minds, and know what they are really thinking inside.

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
- AXB.

15. Any childhood memories you’ll like to re-live?
- nope, i wasnt deprived of anything then.

16. How old do you want to get married?
- i seriously have no idea.

17. Which cartoon character you hate most?
- i LOVE cartoons.

18. Are you courageous enough to go and tell the person that you like him/her?
- he already knows.

19. Name your camwhoring partner.
- most of the time, ANNABELLE KHOO.(:

20. 2 things that describe you.
- i suck at relationships and i make a bad advisor. ):

Instructions: Remove 1 qn from above, & add in ur personal qn, make it a total of 20 qns, then tag 8 people in ur list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.


NOTE: i think this is lame, so decided not to tag anyone on this.heh!

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!(:
today absolutely rocked! RACHEL KOK I MISSED YOU SO! plus all the peacies esp sandra lork, amanda soh, lina tay, renice koh, chew yishih, gillian chua. stupid twintwin didnt go to school.so sarky lah you.ANNABELLE KHOO i hope you see this.you'd better get your ass in the school hall tomorrow at 7.30am sharp!understand?!



yeah, basically today was timetable-giving day, and woots, most of my debts are collected.hoho! thank you FOURPEACIES for giving me the money on time, except a few dumbasses, which includes most of the guys and one girl.ZSD! make me so difficult.gahhh. :/ had pure geog for the first period, which sucked, as usual.and helen him was talking about the long necked women in some weirdo tribe.please luh! i just went to visit some of those two weeks ago in pattaya, and she frigging got MOST of the facts wrong.bah! you! call yourself a geog teacher.crap of rubbish mans.geog lesson would be much more enjoyable without you.(: then this evil meanie made me and renice stand cos we didnt bring our TBs and notes.

after that was recess.then was amath, which was fun fun fun! no teacher, cos apparently haw say boon left the school alr.): he is damn funny lor.why leave siaaaaa. *curses* but anw, no teacher for today, so all amath students from fourpeace and fourtruth were free birds.we could have gone home because our timetable ended at 1.10pm.and amath was the last lesson.so after that, darling clique plus one extra sat down to gossip a little.i love ya babes loads!:D then went to bbt for some time before heading to st22 for my haircut and tuition!


EDIT! : koh liang cai. helen lim is not pretty nice, she is mean and treats her students unfairly. her teaching methods have gotta improve a whole lot more cos if she cannot even manage to make easy-going students like me and the rest of fourpeace's geog students have interest in geog, than she is really a loser.her lessons are boring like hell, and i never fail to fall asleep in her class.this explains my classmates and my POOR F9 GRADES.(: therefore, i urge you to agree with the preposition, mrs helen lim is not nice!:D





things went a lil' awkward thanks to naren and jon, with all the patch things and stuff.but your short short hair looks stupid on you luh.still cute, dont worry.

school's reopening tomorrow.i know this sounds wrong, but I CANT WAIT TO GO BACK!not that i wanna study, but i miss everyone.especially *ahem*.): great, tomorrow will be money-collecting day for me.class tees are out, but due to insufficient funds, i cant get them.so peeps, please pay me asap kays.


prelims are round the corner, i gotta buck up.im not gonna let some blur sotong ruin my future yeah? yaay.im finally thinking.so yeah, seeya all in school tml.much lovee.




i wanna see you, i miss you badly.i really hope you will take things seriously now.iloveyou.

hey, im finally back to blogging.rawr its a nice feeling though, heh.
i know everyone missed me yeah.well anyways, so much has happened lately,
i dont know where to start from.but for everyone out there who are facing
you-know-what problems, i wanna tell you that everyone has their fair
share of rough patches in life.we gotta be really strong although it hurts alot
inside.we will all go through this together.



i dunno what happened to you, but please dont do anything stupid.
baby, you know i cant afford to let you hurt yourself.

QUEEN.

Brenda Yap.
21o892
I ♥ to eat.

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." - Jeremiah 3:3


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