Dear readers, it has been some time since i've sat down to think and reflect on my life. Just gonna pen down some thoughts now, and will keep it short and sweet. I've been busy with work and im proud to say that im a month old on the job already, with zero mc/leave or whatsoever. My body clock has been adjusted back to that of a normal person, and i have cut down on the drinking and partying, not having late nights all the time already. I do hope that i would be able to keep up with this gusto that i have now and yes, lead an absolutely normal life.
The previous year i had a long list to my new year resolutions, and after re-reading them, i realize that not even the minority was accomplished. So this year i shall not be greedy, and i will just ask for one thing - I want to be happy. Yeah, that's it. Photos will be uploaded very soon when i have the time and prolly when im not lazy. There's too many to upload so yahhh, wait a lil.
In a nutshell, 2011 had been fucking awful and torturous. My life has never been so pathetic, depressing and meaningless ever before. I wouldnt spare the time and effort to explain again in detail what exactly made my life a shithole. I must say that after having gone through so much, my faith in God has increased pretty much and am thankful that ive made it through the rain. People say that when you lose something, you'll gain something. True enough, i have lost someone but have gained another. Comparisons need not be made, time will prove everything.
To You; I just wanna say, thank you for leaving me. Beyond the sadness and pain, you taught me a life lesson. I grew up. Im no longer the sweet young innocent little girl who is so fragile and weak. Im so much stronger now, and my life has been a complete change. You once made me the happiest girl and one that every other would envy. Thank you for every single thing, i know that you're happy now, and have found someone better. Now, i think it's my turn to be happy too. Let's both keep the memories etched at the back of our minds. I know it's time for me to let go and move on.
& to my dearest Boyfriend, i know how hard it has been on you for the past few months, and i know sorry doesnt amount to anything. Thank you for accepting me at my worst, showing me the care and concern that i do not deserve. I appreciate every little thing you have done for me, and somehow i feel that ive taken you for granted, thinking that you'll always be there no matter what happens and how i treat you. But it has also struck me that no matter how much you love me you might still get tired one day and leave. I dont wanna make the same mistake again, i dont want history to repeat itself, i dont wanna regret again. Everything you've said and promised me, i hope you'll walk the talk and not let me down. And i promise you, that i'll give my all and make things work out for us. Though we had a rocky start, im sure as time goes by we'll get better and better. Have faith in us.
I hope that this new year would be a much better year, and may all the unhappiness caused in 2011 be gone like the year itself.
Happy new year everyone(:
Well i havent exactly been working as a teller yet, there's training programmes every single day for a month till i officially sit at the counter.
Good thing about the training is that they feed us well everyday with yummy breakfast and teabreak, and we still get paid our salary.
Bad thing is, there are tests everydayyy and we have to pass the tests in order to advance to the next module.
But, studying and doing well isnt a problem for Yours Truly^^
Turning in very early now, and so far i havent been dragging my feet to work.
That's a good sign, but i hope that i can keep up with this gusto now for the many months to come.
On a side note, i've started my DIET PLAN already, and it seems to be working cos i've managed to slim down a teeeny weeeeeny bit.
Thanks to Boyfriend who bought Reduze pills for me, and myself especially for curbing my cravings for food.
Im happy. There's improvement.(:
Starting another week of tiring work again tomorrow, paying attention to lessons and concentrating on the hands-on exercises given.
Praying hard that the week would be good !
Woots~
Pictures from the last 2 weeks, w/o makeup.
When i woke up and saw my favourite boy sleeping on the floor. (L)
ISNT THIS EFFING KEWTTTTT?!?!!! <3
I have been eating well and sleeping well, and ive definitely put on a fair bit of weight.
Partying, shopping, holiday, and every other forms of enjoyment you can think of - you name it.
I've been there, and done that.
Today marks the second last night of my carefree and somewhat lazy lifestyle.
Yours Truly will be commencing work from Monday, 28th November 2011 onwards.
Weeks of training before i actually get to sit at the counter and start being a bank teller.
Excited much, but dreadful in a way that i've to sleep early and wake up early everyday again.
Routine life, here me come~ !
Red contacts, im Team Edward!!!
Approximately 3 more weeks of fun before i start my routine life again - Forcing myself to wake up early in the morning, dragging my lazy self to work, yawning through the working hours, and finally hitting the sacks as soon as i reach home.
Yes, and the cycle repeats on until either i start taking weekly mcs or the bank decides to terminate me, whooops.
So life has been alright for me, not much of being awesome but at least things are getting back on track, i suppose(not?).
Recently somebody told me, "You'll never find the right person, if you never let go of the wrong one."
This got me thinking.
I have been so stuck in a quicksand for the past 9 months, and the only things that have been keeping my head above the mud are the helping hands of my dearest friends, who are trying so hard to walk through the hard times with me.
I havent for once struggled or attempted to push myself out of it, i havent put in much effort.
I will definitely get out, with determination and the continuous support of those who care.
I dont wanna continue sinking deeper, i wanna live again.
When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story.
Everyone has gone through something that has changed them.
Dont judge when you dont know what a person has gone through, everyone has different limits.
& i've given my broken relationship a serious thought.
Why still hope for the impossible and live miserably in the past?
Why not cherish and keep the precious memories close to my heart, and end things when they're most beautiful, instead of dragging on and having the risk of spoiling the good impression that we both gave to each other?
No point bickering over who's at fault, or why things ended up like this, or what we could have done to salvage the relationship.
Let's put an end to all these laments.
What matters most of all, is that what we felt was true and what we had was real.
Memories are such weird things, yet so remarkable.
Some will be forgotten after time passes, and however hard you try to recall you can never gather them again.
And you know some will stay with you, in perfect detail, for the rest of your life. ∞
To my Sheepy Boyfriend,
Time heals everything, proves everything, and shows everything.
I promise you i'll try hard, both for you and for myself.
Do you think our love, can take us away together?
Dont be afraid, or get insecure, for it'll only cause more mistrust and unnecessary arguments, which would further lead to irritation, exhaustion and destruction.
I think our love can do anything we want it to.♥
Photos from since i last blogged.
Horrendous i know.
Like maybe professional help; a psychiatrist or something.
I FEEL HUNGRY ALL THE TIME.
No matter how much i've eaten my tummy still growls after awhile.
Im putting on weight every single day !!!
To much dismay, Yours Truly is gobbling down a bowl of instant noodles as im blogging this.
Old habits die hard.
Once an eater, always an eater.
FML.
The slow replies vanished into silent guilt, remembrance; unforgotten, yet unmentioned. I am sorry.
The past few months have been… crazy, to say the least.
Being caught in a whirlpool of moving, new places, new faces, new friends, holding on to what I could, new life, and everything else.
But you know how every now and then life quietly sneaks up to you and you realize that its time to slow down a little, just relax and enjoy the ride?
I have shifted back home and am trying to get used to life back in Town again.
Unfamiliar, but not forsaken.
Things might just fall into place if i allow them to.
Am currently taking a short break and Yours Truly has secured a job at UOB Bank as a bank teller, and im starting work in late November, after i've come back from my holiday to Taiwan with my relatives.
Yeap, slacking my life away now till i start work.
Welcoming someone new into my life, im not expecting anything but i pray that our journey would be a smooth-sailing one.
We shall do away with all the sweet nothings and puppylove-like behaviour.
I just hope that you would prove me wrong, and let me know you're not all the same.
Most importantly, thank God for everything, be them good or bad, sweet or bitter.(:
Photos from the past few weeks, i swear those arms and thighs are gonna kill me one fine day.
& oh, did i mention, look at that double chin ohmygawddd *faints*
Finally a day off from everything, and have some time alone.
It's been almost 8 months, i guess i am getting better, though still trying to accept the fact that some things are not meant to be.
Everything happens for a reason.
People change so that we learn to let go.
Things go wrong so we can learn to appreciate them when they are right.
You believe less so eventually you only trust no one but yourself.
And most importantly, good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
I'm trying my hardest not to break and become weaker than i already am.
I'm trying to hold onto the last bit of sanity i have left deep within myself and finally take a stance to catch onto a grip of reasoning behind this predicament.
I promise you, i am trying my utmost best to overcome this.
It is hard, but not impossible.
I can do this.
Photos from September, in random order.
The rest up on fb.
:D :DDD
Seeing you all so happy makes me smile from within.
I keep myself busy with things to do but everytime i pause, i still think of you.
